Let's Go Hogwarts 2
by Cora Devoy
Summary: Harry takes a potion that accidentally had sex-switcher in it! Stupidly choosing to join cheerleading again, he's in for another crazy year. Unusual modeling, Draco's strange practices, Snape's homicidal potions... Just read it. (sequel to LGH1)
1. A Bit of Bad News

A/N: The sequel is here! I hope you all enjoy the second as much as you enjoyed the first. For anyone who hasn't read the first Let's Go Hogwarts, I'll try to briefly explain everything that is related to the first. Or maybe you should just quickly read it. It won't take too long. Oh, and the idea of Harry turning into a girl is already used. But this plot isn't. Anywho, on with the story!

Chapter One: A Bit of Bad News

"Gryffindor scores again!" Lee Jordan boomed through the microphone. It was another year, and the first quidditch match of the season was taking place. It was Gryffindor against – surprise surprise – Slytherin.

Harry scanned the quidditch pitch for the snitch. Squinting against the harsh sunlight, he tried to find that minute glint of gold. Still no luck. The Slytherin seeker wasn't having any luck either. Harry flew around, trying to find the golden snitch.

Prof. Hooch blew her whistle. "Time out!" she called. "We forgot to release the snitch!"

Upon release, the snitch flew up into the air and out of sight. Well, out of the Slytherin seeker's sight. Harry could see it. He always could. He's got seeker skill flying out of his rear end, for heaven's sake. Of course he could see it. Are you crazy?

Harry swooped downwards where the snitch was. As his hand grasped the teeny ball, he closed his eyes (old habit of his). The Gryffindor stands erupted with whistles and hoots and cheers, and Prof. Hooch blew her whistle again.

"Gryffindor wins!" Jordan yelled happily.

After Harry gave the snitch to Prof. Hooch, and changed back into his school robes, he met up with his best friends, Hermione and Ron.

"You were fantastic!" Hermione said, giving Harry a quick hug.

"Thank you," Harry said, smiling.

"You're really good," Ron said.

"So are you," Harry replied, still smiling.

Harry was very happy about this year. Why, you ask? Well, last year he lost a bet and had to join the Hogwarts Cheerleading Squad. They won the divisional cup, but Harry quit after. He didn't even want to be a cheerleader anyway. This year, he could just continue on with his life, and not have to worry about spankees, meetings, or burn marks.

That's what he thought.

Draco Malfoy, Harry's official enemy, stomped up to him. "You know, you only won because the snitch was released near you,"

"We still won," Ron said.

"You're just a sore loser," Hermione chimed in.

Malfoy glared at them all, then returned to his team.

"I bet it feels great not to be a cheerleader anymore," said Ron, looking at Harry.

Before he could answer, a burst of pain shot through Harry's leg. "Owwwww," he moaned.

Hermione put her hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

Harry nodded, but Hermione wasn't fooled. "You must have done something to it while you were flying or something," she said, looking at Harry's leg with concern.

Ron glared in Malfoy's direction. "I be _he _did something,"

Hermione shook her head. "I doubt it,"

Harry sat down, unable to keep walking. Wincing, he asked. "Then, what happened?"

"We'd better take you to Mme Pomfrey," Hermione announced. "Here, lean on us. We'll help you walk."

So, leaning on Ron and Hermione, Harry limped his way to the hospital wing.

"Hello, Harry," Mme Pomfrey greeted him. "Another quidditch injury, I presume?"

"Well, that's what we're assuming," Hermione said.

As Mme Pomfrey led Harry to a clean bed, she said, "Can't you find a different way to get hurt? It's getting old. You're always injured because of quidditch. Can't you be more creative?"

Harry tucked himself in. "What about that time I saved the Philosopher's Stone? And the time I killed the Basilisk. And the time I-"

"Yes, yes, I know," Mme Pomfrey replied. She held a spoon of brown goopy medicine up to Harry's mouth. "Open up for the choo choo train,"

"I'm sixteen," Harry said, gulping down the brown substance. "You don't need to do that."

"My apologies," she said. Putting the medicine back, she added, "But I have to do that with Mr. Creevy. He tries so hard to be just like you, Harry. Injuries and all."

Ron and Hermione laughed quietly.

"Now, you two leave Mr. Potter to rest," Mme Pomfrey said, shooing them away.

"Get well soon," Hermione said as the left.

Harry yawned. Even though the medicine had looked and tasted like crap, it was making him very sleepy...

The next morning, things were a bit different.

"Oh my..." Harry heard Mme Pomfrey say. "Oh dear... Oh no..."

Keeping his eyes closed, Harry continued to eavesdrop.

"I've – I've got to inform the Headmaster...!" she continued. Harry heard her footsteps leaving the hospital wing. A few minutes later she returned, with someone who Harry guessed was Dumbledore.

"Albus, look at him!" Mme Pomfey said frightfully.

"He does look different, doesn't he?" Dumbledore replied.

"What are we going to do? How did this happen?"

"I suppose the first thing we should do is tell Harry, shouldn't we?"

"I... I... suppose,"

Dumbledore cleared his throat, and gently shook Harry. Harry pretended to awaken. "Professor?" he asked, acting like he just woke up.

"I've got a bit of bad news," Dumbledore replied. "Or good news... depending on your point of view."

"What news?" Harry asked. He realized the pain in his leg had gone. That couldn't be all that Dumbledore wanted to tell him, right? _Maybe someone's been hurt..._Harry thought._ Maybe I've grown an extra leg... maybe one of my legs has disappeared... maybe my scar has gotten bigger... maybe..._

"Harry," Dumbledore said, taking a deep breath. "You're a girl."

A/N: Well, you now know the main conflict. You also may be wondering how any of this has to do with cheerleading. If I told you now, it wouldn't make for much of a story, would it? Please review! And don't worry; more humour is on the way!

_In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2... how will Harry ever cope with his gender changed?_


	2. Holly Palmer

Chapter Two: Holly Palmer

"I – I'm _what?_" Harry asked in disbelief. He realized his voice had become a tad higher.

"Look at yourself," Dumbledore said.

Harry looked at himself. His butt and chest had gotten bigger, and his waist had gotten thinner. He was a sixteen-year-old girl.

Dumbledore handed Harry a mirror. Looking at his face, he gasped. "What – how – who - ?"

"There must have been something in the medicine," Dumbledore said.

"I have no idea how this happened, Albus!" Mme Pomfrey pleaded. "This has never happened before! I just gave him the correct potion, and – and..."

"I do not blame you for anything, Poppy," Dumbledore said. "The thing we need to figure out now is: How are we going to fix this?"

Harry still couldn't believe that he was a girl. "How am I going to explain this?"

"You won't," Dumbledore said. "You won't tell a soul. Until we find an antidote, I shall inform everyone that you have gone away, and in your place is Holly Palmer."

"Holly Palmer?" Harry asked. "Won't that be a bit obvious? I mean, Harry Potter/Holly Palmer?"

"Well, considering I just thought of it now, I'd say it's quite good, wouldn't you?" Dumbledore replied.

"Yeah, I guess. It's just a name, after all," Harry said. He put his hand to his forehead. Gasping, he said, "My scar! Won't people see it?"

Dumbledore took a little compact powder out from his pocket. "This should do the trick," he said, putting some of the skin-coloured powder on the scar.

"What if it rubs off?" Mme Pomfrey asked. "You bought that from the bargain bin; it won't last very long." Taking a pair of scissors from a drawer, she added, "I'll cut you some nice bangs to cover it instead, hmm?"

"But it's already quite short," Harry said.

With a flick of her wand, Harry's hair grew several inches. "There. Now how about those bangs?"

Harry let her cut his hair. Heck, he'd grown breasts – how bad could bangs be?

"All done!" Mme Pomfrey chirped. "You look beautiful, Har – I mean, _Holly_."

Harry got out of bed, and headed out of the door. He noticed that he was still his height.

"Wait!" Mme Pomfrey said. "We've got to get you a girl's uniform!"

Following Mme Pomfrey into a bathroom, he emerged 15 minutes later in a skirt and blouse. Looking at Harry's hairy legs in disgust, she added, "Put your robe on too,"

Still a bit shocked, Harry put on his robe, and went to leave.

"Remember!" they called after him. "Not a soul!"

"I won't!" Harry called back.

Ron and Hermione were heading to the hospital wing, and bumped into 'Holly'.

"Sorry," Harry said.

"Hello," Hermione said. "Are you new?"

"Uh, yes!" Harry replied. "My name is Holly Palmer, and I'm here in Harry Potter's place. He's gone for awhile, but he'll be back soon." _I hope. _Harry thought.

"Nice to meet you!" Hermione replied, smiling. "I'm Hermione Granger, and this is Ron Weasley."

"Hi," Ron said, blushing.

"Which house are you in?" Hermione asked.

"Gryffindor," Harry replied quickly.

"Us too!" Hermione said.

"Where did you say Harry went?" Ron asked curiously.

"Um, he's gone, somewhere... I have no idea," Harry said. "I was heading to the common room. Do you wanna come?"

"Sure!" Ron said.

When they all reached the Fat Lady's portrait, Harry was about to say the password, when he remembered that he wasn't supposed to know it. "Uh, I don't know the password," he lied.

"Balderdash," Hermione said, and the portrait swung open.

"Hey, we've had that one before," Harry said before he could stop himself.

"How did you know that?" Ron asked suspiciously.

Harry mentally scolded himself for being so absent-minded. "Lucky guess," he said quickly.

As they entered, Harry was about to head for the boys' dorms, when he remembered that he was a girl.

"It's not time for bed yet," Hermione said. "How about you sit down and tell us about yourself?"

"It's Saturday, so we don't have to worry about classes," Ron added.

Harry gingerly took a seat. "Well, uh, what is it that you would like to know?" he said, trying to think up some answers for possible questions.

"Where are you from?" Hermione asked.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Ron asked at the same time.

Harry cleared his throat. He decided that he'd answer Ron's question first, since it was the easiest. "No, I don't have a boyfriend."

A smile spread across Ron's face. Harry shivered.

"And I came from..." Harry tried to think of someplace. "Uh, a cute town a bit south from here." He said, hoping I'd be good enough.

Hermione seemed pleased with his answer. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No," Harry said. At least that wasn't a lie.

Hermione gazed at him. "You know... you remind me of someone..."

Harry gulped. "And, who would that be?"

"Well," she started. "I'm sure you get this all of the time, but you remind me of Harry."

"You mean the boy who I'm replacing for the next while?" Harry asked, trying to sound clueless.

"Yeah," Ron said. "You've got black hair and green eyes, just like him-"

"And you're his height," Hermione added.

"The only thing you're missing is the scar," Ron joked.

Harry was starting to worry. Dumbledore had said not to tell anyone. And that included his friends - the people most likely to recognize him. "Uh, I'm feeling kind of tired. I think I'm going to go to bed." He said, hurrying to the girl's dormitories.

"Well, at least let me show you where you can sleep," Hermione offered, running after him.

Harry figured he'd let her point out an unused bed, and he could just crawl under the covers and wait until he was a boy again.

"Here's a good spot," Hermione said, pointing to a bed next to hers. "It's right by me."

"Thanks," Harry said, getting in. "I'm fine now, you can leave. Thank you."

"All right, if that's what you want," said Hermione, sounding a bit hurt. Harry waited until she left, and then bolted out of bed.

_I'll sneak back to the hospital wing, help Mme Pomfrey make an antidote or find one for her, or anything... _He looked around the room frantically. _What am I going to do...?_

"Oh, hello," Lavender and Parvati greeted Harry. They had been chatting in a corner of the room, but Harry never noticed them. "Are you new?" they asked.

"Yes," Harry answered. "I'm Holly Palmer, and I'm replacing someone named Harry."

"Oooh!" Parvati squealed. "Do you like cheerleading?"

Harry shook his head. "Well, not –"

"Great!" she replied. "'Cause there's a Hogwarts cheerleading team, and you could try out!"

"Actually, I'm not really-"

Lavender gasped. "But the try outs are today! We'd better hurry!"

"Come on, Holly!" Parvati said eagerly.

Harry sighed, following them out the door. _Here we go. _

A/N: ::speed reads the chapter:: How come I'm not putting in funny stuff? I'm really sorry, I know this is a humour fic, but these are just the opening chapters. Just let me get started – I've been planning lots of funny things. Please review me!

_In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2...will Lavender and Parvati convince Harry to join the squad?_


	3. History Repeats Itself

Chapter Three: History Repeats Itself

Lavender and Parvati told him all about the squad as they headed to the Great Hall.

"They won the Divisional Cup last year-"Parvati stated.

"Malfoy and Harry were flyers-"Lavender chimed in.

"Malfoy's the captain-"

"But don't flirt with him, because-"

"Pansy'll totally flip out on you-"

"Her and Malfoy are-"

"_Running together-_"

"If you know what we mean-"

"So-"

"Like-"

"Anyways!" they both said together.

"And he's really strict-"

"Malfoy, we mean-"

"He's not your type-"

"So don't worry,"

"But don't buy any of his garbage-"

Harry threw up his hands. "All right! I now know all about the cheerleading squad."

"Great!" Lavender said happily.

"But, to tell you the truth, I don't really want to be a cheerleader," Harry said.

"What???" they both asked in disbelief.

"Every girl wants to be a cheerleader!" Parvati protested.

A/N: No, they don't, actually.

"Well, I don't," Harry said.

Lavender pouted. "Aw, don't be such a party pooper."

"Yeah," Parvati said. "You're new to the school, and joining the squad is a great way to make some friends."

"Trust me, I am _not _cheerleader material," Harry said defiantly.

"But look at you!" Parvati exclaimed.

"Yeah, you're cheerleader material. What are you talking about?" Lavender asked.

"Look, I really don't think-"

"Hey Holly," Seamus said, holding out a knut. "Heads I win, tails you lose. If you lose, you've got to become a cheerleader."

"Okay!" Harry said happily.

It was tails.

"Tails! You lose!" Seamus announced.

"Ooooh! Now you have to!" Lavender and Parvati squealed.

Harry couldn't believe his luck.

* * *

"Palmer, Holly," Prof Sprout called.

"Go!" Parvati and Lavender whispered, pushing Harry to the try-out area.

Once again, Harry was routine-less.

"Do your routine, miss," Prof Sprout said, quill at the ready.

Harry wasn't lying when he said he wasn't cheerleading material. "Two Four Six Eight... Hogwarts is great... yay..." Harry did a few jumping jacks. "Go team... whoo...?" he said. Then he just stood there.

Lavender and Parvati stared at Harry like he had like totally developed a major zit.

The polite golf claps were heard from the judges. "Thank you, Mister – er, _Miss_ Palmer," Prof Sprout.

A look of worry spread across Harry's face, but Sprout just winked at him. "We'll get back to you in a week."

Harry nodded, and re-joined Lavender and Parvati.

"Do you want a tour of the school?" Lavender asked Harry.

"No thanks, I can manage by myself," he replied. All he wanted was to get away from those two.

"That's good," said Parvait, sighing with relief. "I don't think I could show you even half of Hogwarts without getting lost myself."

Harry needed to ditch them. "I've got to... go to the bathroom!" he exclaimed. "So you two just do something else and I'll leave..."

He ran off before either of them could say something. Once he was out of their sight, he ducked into the Gryffindor tower.

"Hi, Holly," Ron said.

Harry jumped in surprise. "Hi Ron! Hey, where's Hermione?"

"Oh, she's probably at the library," Ron said, scuffing his shoes. "But, if you aren't doing anything... maybe..."

Lavender and Parvati had managed to catch up to Harry. "There you are!" they said, each grabbing one of Harry's wrists. "Come on, you've got so much to learn!"

"I guess I'll see you later, Ron!" Harry called as the two girls dragged him to the girls' dorm. Once they had dropped him on the floor, they whipped out colourful bags and dropped those on the floor too.

"What are you going to do to me?" Harry whimpered.

"Here," Parvati ordered, handing Harry a razor and shaving cream. A combination Harry had always feared. "Now, go into that bathroom over there and shave your legs, for Godsake."

"What???" Harry yelled.

"Well, you can't just walk around like some kind of wild monkey, Holly," Lavender said.

"Even Hermione knows that," Parvati giggled.

Harry stared down at the razor and cream.

"Well, it's not like you're a boy," Lavender said, shrugging.

_Yeah, right. _Harry thought. "Well, alright..." he agreed warily.

"Hey Holly," Seamus said. "Heads I win, tails-"

"I don't need that right now, Seamus!" Harry exclaimed. "And, how did you get in here anyway? This is the girls' dorm!"

Seamus and his knut disappeared through a plot hole.

"Go on," the girls coaxed.

Harry gulped as he entered the bathroom.

_In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2... will Harry shave? And, Ron sure has been acting nervous around Holly... when will he find out his new crush is actually Harry?_


	4. The Potion Recipe

A/N: Hello again! I am very sorry I haven't updated in a week, but... well, to make a long story short, I tried to resurect Waste 20 Seconds (but in non-script format) and it STILL got deleted! So, yeah, then I got locked. But the good news is that I'm updating now! Enjoy!

Chapter Four: The "Potion" Recipe

Two painful hours later, Harry emerged from the bathroom. He was covered in shaving cream.

Lavender and Parvati giggled madly. "Haven't you ever shaved before?"

"No," Harry replied grimly.

They sighed, walking into the bathroom. "Here, we'll show you."

Closing the door behind them, they began shaving Harry's legs. (A/N: Just picture it: Two giggling girls shaving another girl's legs. Ewwww...)

Hermione entered the dorm, and heard hysterical giggling coming from the bathroom. Knocking on the door, she asked, "Who's in there?"

"Just me and Lavender!" Parvati called back.

_Those two are closer than I thought. _Hermione thought, trying not to think dirty. "What are you doing?"

"Shaving Holly's legs!" Parvati replied.

"You're WHAT?" Hermione yelled, bursting through the door. She found a very distressed Holly and a giggling Lavender and Parvati.

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed.

The two valley girls threw down their razors and pouted. "Only wanted to make her look good," they grumbled, and left.

"Thanks," Harry said gratefully, washing off the shaving cream.

"No problem," Hermione replied. "Those two can get a bit crazy."

"You're telling me," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

Hermione laughed. "You know, you _do _remind me of Harry," she commented.

"But we don't need to talk about him," Harry said hastily. He didn't know how long he could keep his secret.

"Do you want to have lunch with Ron and I?" she asked. "It's lunch time now."

"Sure," Harry replied, following her to the great hall.

And that's how it went for the next week. Well, not the part where Hermione would find Holly covered in shaving cream in the bathroom with Lavender and Parvarti bent over her legs. I meant Hermione, Ron, and Harry would eat their meals together, do their homework together, and talk with each other. Whenever Lavender and Parvati tried to talk to Holly, Hermione would simply put duct tape on their mouths. ("So _you _were the one who did that to Colin!" Ron exclaimed).

On the day that Harry would find out if he made the cheerleading team, they had Potions right before supper. As they took their seats, Ron handed Holly a pair of nose-plugs. "These will save you expensive plastic nasal surgery," he whispered.

Of course, Harry knew that, and he had his own pair, but he wasn't supposed to. He was _Holly. _Holly doesn't know about the many smells of Professor Snape. Discreetly pushing the nose plugs into his nose, he opened his books.

After carefully hiding his butterfly barrettes where butterfly killers could not find them, Snape started his class. "As you are all probably aware of, we have a new student, Miss Palmer, filling in for Mr Potter. Make her feel at home." He said, not meaning it.

Snape was about to write something on the board, but Dumbledore strolled into the room. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm okay," Snape replied.

"You're arrettes-bay are idden-hay?" Dumbledore asked, raising his eyebrows. (A/N: Sorry for the bad pig Latin)

"Albuuuuus," Snape whined, jabbing his head in the direction of the students.

"Sorry, sorry," Dumbledore said breezily. "Continue with your lesson," and he left.

Snape tiptoed to the door, and peeked outside. Once he was sure Dumbledore was gone, and anyone else wasn't going to pop in, he slammed he door shut. "Okay, kiddies. I've always wanted to be a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so this'll be practice for me."

"OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO RAPE US!" a boy screamed, causing everyone else to start screaming

"I'm not going to do that!" Snape hissed, whipping his head around to look out the window on the door for anyone who heard that. "I'm just going to pretend that I'm the DADA teacher, and this is DADA class."

"May I ask why, Professor?" Draco Malfoy asked.

"Well, you see, it's always been my dream," Snape explained. "Don't worry, it's just for this class,"

Everyone gave each other looks. Harry glanced at Hermione and Ron. They were just as happy as the next person that the Potions teacher wasn't going to rape them, but this was ridiculous.

Snape cleared his throat. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts. I am your new teacher, Professor Snape. Professor Severus Snape the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I am a professor and not a teacher because Defense Against the Dark Arts is my profession." He said, matter-of-factly.

"Can we pick up the pace?" Draco moaned in boredom, moving his hand in forward circles.

"So, what do you do in Defense Against the Dark Arts anyway?" Snape asked.

A loud boom was heard as everyone's foreheads hit their desks.

Snape glared at everyone and whipped around to face the chalkboard. Furiously, he began to write the ingredients to a potion. "Copy this down!"

Everybody copied it down.

Harry read what Snape was writing: 'One heart from the real DADA teacher, One liver from the real DADA teacher, One brain from the real DADA teacher, Two lungs from the real DADA teacher...' and raised his hand. "Um, Professor? You're not planning any murders any time soon, are you?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Snape recited.

Harry continued writing down the ''Potion'' until class ended for supper. (The last ingredient of Snape's "potion" was One Extra-Large Cheese Pizza But Hold The Bacon, Pepperoni, and Sausage Because I Want To Be A Vegetarian).

When everyone was settled down for supper, an owl flew down to Harry, clutching the results of his try-out.

"Hey, it's the results of my try-out," Harry said, taking the letter

"You tried out for cheerleading?" Hermione asked disapprovingly.

Ron gasped. "Did you make it?" he asked eagerly.

Harry held his breath as he opened the letter...

A/N: LOL Some potion, eh? Oh, and as for those noseplugs and butterfly barrettes, you had to of read the first Let's Go Hogwarts to get it. If you review, Snape might give you a piece of his pizza.

Snape: ::scarfs down vegetarian pizza:: Don't count on it.

_In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2... will Harry make the team? Why does Snape want to be a vegetarian? Why hasn't the author made Ron and Hermione figure out that Holly is actually Harry?_

A/N: I'm _getting _to it! Sheesh! Now review me, damn it!


	5. Hermione Catches On

A/N: Even though I might alternate in calling Harry either Harry or Holly, just know that he is still a girl, regardless of what I call him. Oh, and you know what i found out about Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone? Go to the page where Harry reads his school supplies list, and it says '1 wand' TWICE! Check it out! But, you know, _after_ you check out this chapter ;)

Chapter Five: Hermione Catches On

Harry opened the letter as slowly as possible. _It's all about the drama. _He thought, smiling.

After ten minutes, the dramatic opening-of-the-letter had grown way past ridiculous. "Just open it already," Ron whined.

Harry opened it. He read it and his jaw dropped open. "I... I made the team,"

"Way to go!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry put the letter down. "I guess they were drunk again," he chuckled.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Holly. "_Again?_" she asked suspiciously.

"Or, whatever, you know," Harry stuttered. _I have really got to be more careful._

Hermione glanced at Holly before returning to her food.

::::Last night in the Teachers' Common Room:::: 

Professor McGonagall was in charge of writing the letters to all of the students who tried out. Looking at the list she was given, she was down to Holly Palmer, who hadn't made the cut.

_Seems young Mr Potter can't do any better even as a girl._ She thought, remembering last year's try-outs where she'd been given this same job. _Oh, why'd I have to drink that night?_ She glanced at the bottle of champagne she slept with every night under her pillow, which was on the table in front of her parchment and quill. _Never ever again._ But she couldn't take her eyes off of it. _Well, I'll just have a sip..._

::::Back to the current time::::

Ginny tapped Holly on the shoulder. "Hi, Holly! I see you're a cheerleader too. There's a meeting after supper, would you like me to show you the way?"

Harry smiled. "Sure. After all, I don't know anything about this school," he said, glancing at Hermione. "Not one little thing,"

"You knew where the Potions classroom was," Hermione stated, not looking up from her food.

Harry thought fast. "Well, how could you _not _know where it was? You could smell it a mile away," he said nervously.

Ron and Ginny laughed.

"Come on, I'll lead the way," Ginny said, smiling. Harry got up and followed her to the Hogwarts Grounds.

"You know, you look a lot like a boy I used to like," Ginny said absent-mindedly.

Harry tried to hide a grin. "Really?"

"Oh, but I don't mean that offensively," Ginny added quickly. "I'm not saying that you look like a boy. It's just... you remind me..."

"I know," Harry said, smiling.

Ginny shook her head. "I guess I'm just imagining things," she said.

Before Harry could reply, Malfoy stomped up to them. _Oh look, it's that little Jenny Weasley person and... who is this? _He thought curiously."You must be the new cheerleader," he said. "You're... Holly Palmer? Is that right?"

"Yes," Harry said.

Malfoy looked him up and down, and smirked. "Welcome aboard. I am the _captain. _Captain of the Hogwarts Cheerleading Squad." He handed Holly a plastic bag. "Here's your uniform."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "He says that every year," she said to Holly. Facing Malfoy, she said, "Yeah, I think half the world knows that by now."

Draco glared at her. "Obviously _you're _part of the half that doesn't know, otherwise you'd do as I say. And I say to get with the GROUP!"

Harry grinned. "You're not going to tell us to 'go suck on a monkey', are you?"

"Oh, go suck on a... oh," Draco said, disappointedly. "Hey, how did you know what I was going to say?"

Once again, Harry had slipped up. "You're just really predictable, that's all,"

Draco stared into Harry's eyes. "You look familiar..." he said slowly.

"She looks like Harry," Ginny piped up.

"... He was my best cheerleader..." Draco said quietly. Raising his voice, he added, "You may look like Potter, but I doubt you're as good a cheerleader he was."

"Want to bet?" Ginny challenged him.

"I don't think you have the money," Draco snickered.

"Hey, shut up!" Harry said angrily.

"Sure, I'll shut up, Holly," said Draco, smirking. "Get with the group."

So Holly and Ginny got with the group.

"All right people, listen up!" Draco shouted. "As you all know, this is the first meeting. We've got another cup to win, and another cheer to learn. So listen up or-"

"My father will have you rot in azkaban," the squad finished in a dull tone.

"Exactly," Draco said, pleased with himself. "Now, I'm going through a cheerer's block, so bear with me as I try to think up a cup-winning cheer... anytime now..."

_Four hours later..._

Draco was concentrating hard. "Okay... it's on the tip of my tongue ... wait for it...Aha! I've got it!"

But, sadly, everyone had already left.

In fact, Harry had left so early that he was lounging on a couch with Hermione and Ron in the Gryffindor common room.

"Open it!" Ron squealed eagerly, looking at the bag in Holly's lap.

Harry opened the bag. Inside was his uniform. "It's just like I remember it," he said.

Hermione shot up. "Do you want to tell us _why _you know about all of these things?" she asked fiercely. "You only arrived last week!"

Harry tried to think up an excuse. "I... um... erm... eek... doNOTinvolveme!"

Hermione's index finger pointed right in Harry's face. "There you go again! _What _are you _hiding???_"

Harry looked helplessly at Ron, and then at Hermione, who was still pointing at him. Taking a look around the room to make sure no one else was there, Harry decided to tell them. "Okay," he said, lowering his voice. "You remember when I- I mean Harry, got hurt at quidditch, and then went to the hospital wing?"

Hermione went to talk, but Harry put his hand up. "He took the medicine Mme Pomfrey gave him, but there must have been something in it," he continued. "He woke up the next morning as..."

"As what?" Ron asked, turning pale.

Harry took a deep breath. "...As me,"

Hermione's jaw dropped open. "I _knew _it! The resemblance was just too obvious! I can't believe this! Why didn't you tell us? How did it happen? Who put in the gender-switcher?"

As she raved on, Ron turned from white to green, and began gagging.

"Ron?" Harry asked. "Are you all right?"

Ron looked at Holly with bulging eyes. "I- I- I- I- can't..." he gagged some more.

"He fancied you," Hermione said.

"Yeah," Ron said, and fainted. After he regained his consciousness, he asked a question that never even crossed Harry's mind. "Do... do you still have... did you lose...?" he pointed downward.

Now it was Harry's turn to turn white. Grabbing his 'area' he shouted, "... oh my God... THEY'RE GONE!"

Ron and Holly screamed and started crying, hugging each other.

"What?" Hermione asked, confused. "What did you lose?"

Ron looked at her, while patting Harry on the back. "His... her... you know..." he said from behind his teeth, and raised his eyebrows.

Hermione nodded slowly. "Oh," was all she said.

"Maybe it's not too late!" said Ron, and kicked Harry in the crotch.

Harry cried harder. "It doesn't hurt!" he cried.

Hermione tried to pull them together. "All right, all right, settle down, that's enough," she said, getting them to sit on the couch. Handing them a box of tissues, she said, "Harry lost an important part of his life, but we're not ever going to think or talk about that again."

Harry and Ron nodded, blowing their noses.

"You okay now, mate?" Ron asked Harry softly.

Harry nodded, and hiccupped. "Yeah,"

"Can we move on now?" said Hermione, turning a little green herself.

A/N: Yes, Hermione, we're going to move on.


	6. Model Students

A/N: Stupid homework. This weekend I didn't get as much, so I'm updating now. I wanted to update every day, like the last LGH, but I just don't have the time. Happy Readings!

Chapter Six: Model Students

Once they were all calmed down, they continued on, although Harry occasionally glanced downwards with a feeling of loss.

"I didn't _really _like you like you, Ha – Holly," Ron said, blushing and laughing nervously.

"Good," Harry said thankfully. He knew Ron was lying, but he was trying to pretend that he wasn't. _Ugh. Bad... mental... pictures..._Harry thought, cringing.

"I'm just glad we found out before anything got serious," Hermione said.

Ron shot Hermione a glare.

"So when do you change back?" Hermione asked, ignoring Ron's evil eye.

"I don't know," Harry said helplessly.

Hermione sighed, deep in thought. "There must be _some_ kind of antidote."

Harry and Ron counted down the seconds until Hermione announced they'd all have to go to the library. _Three... two... one... _They thought, grinning.

"We'll have to go to the library," Hermione announced.

:::::At the Library:::::

Ron was reluctantly pouring over a huge, yellowing book. "Herm_i_on_eeeee_, we're _never_ gonna _fiiiind_ it," he whined.

"Ron," Hermione said sharply. "That's a cookbook."

"Oh," Ron said, and put it back on the shelf.

They had indeed gone to the library, and were trying to find something to change Harry back to, well, Harry.

"I remember reading this book..." Hermione said faintly, thinking hard.

"What else is new," said Ron.

"Harry, can – "Hermione started.

"_Holly!_" Harry hissed, glancing around the room.

"Sorry," she apologized. "But, can you go over to that woman over there and ask her if she know where to find books about gender-switching?"

Holly nodded, and walked over to where the woman was, who looked in her twenties, was sitting at a table, writing in a notebook.

"Excuse me," Holly interrupted. "Could you help me and my friends with something?"

She looked at her, and her jaw dropped.

"Only if _you _help _me _with something," she said.

"Um, alright," Holly said.

The woman stood up. "I'm Nancy Castlie, and I'm looking for a fresh face. Something... old, but still something new..."

"... Something borrowed, and something blue?" Holly suggested.

Nancy let out a loud laugh. "The girl's got wit, too! I'm looking for someone who'd be perfect."

"For what?" Holly asked.

She smiled. "I'm an agent, and I want to know if _you're _interested in _modeling!_" she exclaimed eagerly.

Holly choked, even though there was nothing in her mouth to choke on. "What???"

"You've got the eyes, the nose, the ears, the hair... well, maybe not the hair, but we can fix that, _easily_," she said. "So? What do you think?"

"I'm not interested," Holly stated.

"Hey Holly, heads I win, tails you lose," Seamus said.

"Shut up!" Holly shouted, tugging at her hair.

"Holly, what's –"Hermone said.

"Who's –"Ron chimed in.

Everyone started talking at once, and full sentences couldn't be heard.

"- Modeling would -"

"- Who's she-?"

"- Shut up!!"

"-Pick one-"

"- I thought you-"

"-Why-"

"-You-"

"-Model-"

"-Topless!" a foreign voice cried.

Everyone stopped shouting.

"Now that I've got you're attention," said Malfoy, smirking proudly. "I'd like to ask what the _hell_ is going on?"

Nancy gasped. "Why, this school is crawling with models!"

"What are you talking about?" Malfoy asked.

Nancy Castlie smiled ear to ear. "You're _both _hired!"

Holly choked again, and found what he was actually choking on. "Wow, and all this time I thought I _swallowed _that piece of gum,"

"I can see it now! You'll be on _all _the magazine covers!" Nancy exclaimed gleefully.

"I will?" Malfoy said.

"You _both _will!" she said.

"I don't want to be a model!" Holly yelled.

"Why not just me?" Malfoy asked. "I'd be _perfect. _You wouldn't want _her_." He said, gesturing to Holly.

For once in his life, Harry was thankful that Malfoy was so selfish.

"Nonsense! You'll both model for me, and you'll both be stars!" Nancy said.

Malfoy saw the look on Holly's face. "Aw, come on. It can't be that bad. You'll be with me?"

Ron raised an eyebrow. "Malfoy, she's _already _thinking of killing herself." He said.

"Come with me, my fresh-faced friends," Nancy said, leading them away.


	7. The Truth About Nancy

Chapter Seven: The Truth About Nancy

Hermione and Ron watched as Ms Castlie led their friend and enemy away.

"Um..." Hermione said.

Ron stomped his foot. "Can you believe that??? She didn't even _look _at me! I mean, not that I'd want to model, but I'm certainly..."

Hermione tuned Ron out as she spotted a small business card on the floor.

"... Am I right or am I right?" Ron asked.

Hermione whipped her head around to him. "Oh, yeah, Ron... you're right. But look. That Castlie woman dropped a business card."

Ron bent down and picked it up. He held it up close to his face and squinted his eyes. "Miss Nancy Castlie... secretary of the MISU... nude photography... 175 Wicca Drive... 1-800-7364..."

Hermione snatched the card out of his hand, and quickly read it. Ron peered over her shoulder to catch a glimpse.

Hermione dropped the card, and they looked at each other. "NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY???"

* * *

"Right. I'm looking for a bit more... that's it... now just... no no no, like this...."

"Miss Castlie, -"

"Please, call me Nancy,"

"Well, _Nancy_, is this necessary?"

"Yes, yes, of course! Just do it like me..."

"I'm not sure if that's physically possible, _Nancy_,"

"Here, let me see,"

"I am not going to let you see it!"

"Stubborn little thing, aren't you?"

"... Excuse me...?"

"Oh, I'm not talking about _you_, dear."

"Uh huh..."

"Look, just let me-,"

"Nancy, I can do it!"

"No need to shout!"

"Let go!!! Ow!"

Holly watched in amusement as Nancy and Draco fought over her briefcase, which didn't seem to open. (A/N: Heh heh, gotcha.)

"Oh wait, we need the key," Nancy said.

"There was a _key???_" Draco asked.

Nancy nodded, and unlocked the briefcase.

"We've been trying to open this thing, and all along you had a _key?!_" Draco yelled.

Ignoring his shouting, Nancy retrieved some papers, and shut the case closed with a clunky sort of click. Like, _clunk, _but not so heavy. Well, kind of heavy, seeing as it was a heavy briefcase. But kind of clicky, in a -

"Anyway," said Nancy, not realizing that she was cutting me o- "Here are the papers I need you to sign. Now, there's no need to read it really, just-"

Draco looked at his watch, and panicked. "5:15 already!!! I've got to go to cheerleading practice,"

"You're a cheerleader?" Nancy asked, interested.

"The captain cheerleader, in fact," Draco replied proudly.

"How cute!" she cooed.

"Uh, I've gotta go too," Holly said, wanting to leave. "Bye."

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Nancy called after them.

* * *

Draco and Holly were running to make it in time. Well, Draco was, at least, 'cause he cared about cheerleading. Holly was running to get away from Nancy.

"I've never been so absent –minded in my life," Draco said.

"That's nice," said Holly, not really listening.

Draco held the door open for her as they exited the school, and onto the grounds. "Modeling should be pretty interesting, hmm?"

Holly was now running to get away from Malfoy. "Sure,"

"This'll look _so_ good on my permanent record," Draco added.

Holly wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic, or if he really meant it, so she chose her words carefully. "... I'm sure it will."

Malfoy beamed.

A/N: That's it for now. Got to go and do some productive crap or something. Don't forget to review! Please Review! Please!

Draco: You're begging.

A/N: And you're not. Review please!


	8. The New Captain

Chapter Eight: The New Captain

There was no more time for chatting when they reached the other cheerleaders. Draco went into full boss-atude.

"You've all let me down," he announced, narrowing his eyes at everyone. "I was thinking of a cheer during our last meeting, and you left!"

Everyone just looked at him.

"... so...?" someone asked.

"So???" he exclaimed. "Now I've forgotten it, and we're no closer to winning the championship cup than we were last time!"

"Why don't we all think of one, instead of you doing it by yourself?" Ginny asked.

There were murmurs of agreement.

"Why would I do that?" Draco chuckled.

"Uh, because we're a team," another girl replied.

"I agree," someone else chimed in.

Draco showed his palms to them, signaling everyone to stop. "It's not so easy,"

Ginny spoke up again. "If you can do it, so can we,"

Holly snorted. "He _can't _do it,"

Everyone laughed.

"Stop – stop laughing! That's not funny!" Draco commanded. Keeping his cool, he added, "I honestly can_not _see you all coming up with a golden cheer. It takes time. Effort. And I, you're leader, you're boss, the one who's IN CHARGE-,"

Some people jumped.

"-Will NOT let this happen!" he yelled.

Holly half expected angry froth to spill out of his mouth.

Making sure everyone was still paying attention, Draco continued. "We are a TEAM. I am the LEADER. So I'll lead, and you'll cheer!"

"But that's no fun!" someone complained.

Draco turned on them. "You're not here to have fun, you're here to cheer for Hogwarts no matter what!"

Holly was fed up. "We don't need you either!" she shot at him.

Draco attempted to glare at her, but she still saw something soft in his eyes.

She took a deep breath. "That's right, Malfoy. You think you can just boss us around as you please? We've got brains, unlike you-"

Some people snickered.

"-So why don't you leave us alone?" Holly put her hands on her hips, and raised her eyebrows at him.

Malfoy opened his mouth to speak, but didn't say anything.

"I think Holly should be our new captain," Ginny said.

"I second it!" another girl piped up.

"I third it!" someone else chimed in.

Soon, everyone was putting in their two cents about how Holly should be their new captain.

Cutting off the girl was 'thirty-fiveing' it, Draco yelled. "You can't do this!"

Ginny shoved her face into his. "We can... and we will!" she declared.

"Go Holly!" Everyone cheered.

Malfoy was starting to feel like his team didn't want him. _Well, fine. If my team doesn't want me anymore, then that's just peachy. I teach these girls everything I know, and this is the thanks I get? Fine! We'll see how long they last! _He thought furiously. He stomped away, making as much noise as he could. "YOU'LL _LIVE _TO REGRET THIS!" he yelled à la Sideshow Bob.

His form disappeared behind the door. As it banged behind him, everyone went on rejoicing.

Little did they know that'd be the very last time anyone would ever see Draco Malfoy again.

Well, maybe not _that _long. But for a few hours at least.

_Oh yeah, who's dramatic. _Draco thought, strutting down the hall. _I'll lock myself in the dorm with a bottle of champagne, and drink until everyone in the school feels my pain. Oh yeah...I'm cool. _Strutting along and donning a smirk, he made his way down to the dorms.

A/N: Hey... that rhymed. Champagne and Pain, I mean.

Back outside, Holly was jumping up and down. Malfoy was gone!

"Congratulations, Holly!" Ginny said excitedly. "You're the new captain!"

Holly smiled. "Yeah, it feels – WHAT?! I'm the captain???"

Ginny was confused. "Well, of course. That's why everyone was cheering your name!"

Holly stomped jumping. She remained perfectly still. "Could you excuse me for a moment?"

Ginny nodded. "But why?"

Holly was hurrying away before she could hear Ginny's question. Tugging down her skirt, which had been riding up, she ran for the common room.

Meanwhile, Draco had picked up some alchohol and was heading for his own house's common room

:::::A few minutes before:::::

Draco hurried into the kitchen. "Get me a bottle of the strongest champagne you have," he ordered a house-elf, whose name was Benny.

The elf nodded, and fetched a few bottles. His hands shaking, he held them out to Draco.

Draco took a swig, and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. Without thanking the poor elf, he strutted away.

One of the elf's little friends looked concerned. "That was from Headmaster's supply of the Evil Drinks!" she scolded him.

The house-elf grinned. "Benny play trick on Mr Draco! 'Tis fake Evil Drink! Non-alcoholic! Tee hee hee!"

:::::Present Time:::::

Draco was wondering why the champagne wasn't working, when he collided with Holly.

Spotting the alcohol in his hands, Holly snatched a bottle a downed the whole thing.

Draco raised his eyebrows at her. "Wow, what happened to you?"

Holly pulled the bottle away from her mouth, a gasped for air. "I'm the captain!" she whined.

"I know," he replied coldly.

"I guess you hate me now?" Holly asked eagerly. _Please don't like me please don't like me please don't like me. _She prayed.

Draco glared at her, and for a moment he look as though he was about to hit her. Holly winced, but all he did was give her hand a squeeze. "Not a chance," he said, and walked away.

A cold bead of sweat ran down Harry's forehead.

A/N: ::sniffles:: What am I doing to my story?? This isn't very funny. Ah well, I hope you like drama. I've been so loaded with work and homework, it's not even funny anymore. Thank God it's a long weekend; I get an extra free day to WORK! Hooray! I think I'll throw a party... where we can work!!

...Aaaah, the sweet art of sarcasm. See you next chapter!


	9. Harry's, uh, Girlfriend

Chapter Nine: Harry's, uh, Girlfriend

Holly looked down at her hand. She slowly opened her palm. There was no note inside. But wouldn't it of been so mysterious if there had been?

She continued on her way to the common room. Just as she was passing the old, wooden door that lead to the dungeons, she heard a squeal of happiness, and the smell of pizza…

… _vegetarian… pizza…_

* * *

The usual sound of mixed voices was heard in the Potions classroom, first period, when the 7th year Gryffindors and Slytherins had Potions.

Now, usually, in most classes, this noise is stopped when the teacher begins the class. Unless of course the students don't like the teacher. But with Snape, you were pretty much forced to shut up.

But that was the problem. Snape was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, where's Snape?" Ron asked no one in particular.

Hermione shrugged.

"You're complaining?" Dean replied, who was shooting spitballs at the chalkboard with Seamus.

"Well, I guess not, but I was just wondering," said Ron. "… Does anyone else smell pizza?"

Harry sniffed. "Hey, you're right. Wonder why."

A shadow passed over Hermione's face. "Could…"

Ron looked at her. "What?"

Hermione shook her head. "Ne – nevermind."

Harry went back to watching Lavender and Parvati argue about who has more split ends, when a very pleased-looking Draco walked into the room.

As he sat down, he addressed the class. "Oh, by the way, every one of you failed Professor Snape's assignment."

"And what makes you think that?" Hermione asked defensively.

"Because I handed it in first," Draco replied. "Even that vegetarian pizza."

"You… you didn't!" A boy blurted out in disbelief.

"I _did_," he shot back.

One of his Slytherin friends stifled a laugh. "You didn't actually get all of those ridiculous ingredients, did you??"

Draco just gave him a knowing smile, and they both laughed.

"That's disgusting!" said Hermione.

Ron was slightly confused. "Whaa….?"

Holly's eyes went wide. "So now Snape's…?"

Draco smirked at him. "The new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?"

"Do you realize what you've done?!" Hermione yelled at him, her fists clenched.

Draco glared at her. "Shut up, Granger. You're just angry because now your dear little Potter is guaranteed to fail _another _class."

The Slytherins all snickered.

"Aw, stickin' up for her _boyfriend_, is she?" One of them joked.

Ron stood up, his chair squeaking violently. "Hermione is NOT going out with Harry!"

Draco laughed. "Did I just hear Weasley confess his love for Granger??"

"He never said that!" Hermione screeched.

Before a Slytherin could say something else, Harry decided it was his turn to say something. "You can all just shut up now, because it's no use. _I'm _going out with Harry, not anyone else."

Everyone turned to stare at her, and the wide grin fell off Malfoy's face, but he quickly replaced it, keeping his pride.

"That's right," Holly said.

Malfoy's back stiffened. "Well, you have horrible taste." He scoffed.

And that was that.

Hermione leaned towards Harry. "You know, you didn't have to do that," she said appreciatively.

"It's okay," Harry replied. "I wanted to."

Ron simply looked at Holly in astonishment. "You're going out with yourself???"

Hermione and Holly glanced at each other and rolled their eyes. "Yup, that's right, Ron," They laughed.

A/N: Whoa, it's been like a MONTH since I've updated, eh? Well, there's a chapter for you. I hoped you like it PLEASE REVIEW ;) Next chapter will be DADA class with the new teacher! And we ALL know what that means.


	10. Gossip and Coach Grinder

A/N: Ya make me wanna la la… Oh, uh, just singing along to a song. Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Eleven: Gossip and Coach Grinder

As it turned out, Snape never showed up in Potions. Filch came and gave Seamus and Dean detentions for throwing spitballs, but that was about the only discipline they got.

Still miffed about being cut off in Potions, Draco made his way to his next class, stealing a glance at the Golden Trio, minus a scarred half-blood, plus a raven-haired girl. Heading off in the opposite direction he was, he wouldn't be in the same class as the Gryffindors until that afternoon's DADA class. (Unlike in the movies, where it seems as though every class the Gryffindors have is with the Slytherins.)

_Thank Merlin. _He thought, scowling at the floor. _I can barely stand breathing the same air as them, let alone be in the same class as them._

But, back to the main characters. It was Divination for Harry and Ron, and Arithmancy for Hermione.

"See you at lunch, Herm!" They called, walking up the stairs to the Divination classroom.

Harry and Ron took their seats, and took out last night's Divination homework.

"What was the answer to that last question?" Ron whispered to Holly.

"You mean that one about the 13th sign?" Holly shrugged. "I dunno. I think it was Ophi-something or other."

Lavender glanced at them. "Ophiuchus? The constellation in the equatorial region near Hercules and Scorpius?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

Ron made a frowny face and looked down at his uncompleted homework, and muttered, "Suck up."

* * *

In that afternoon's Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Snape tried to maintain his usual 'you-pull-that-bull-with-me-and-I'll-take-thirty-points-from-Gryffindor' persona, but it didn't take a genius to see that he was trying to hide a smile. Malfoy had been the first student to hand in all the necessary ingredients for his potion, and now that the DADA teacher was gone, Snape was the new professor at last. 

A Gryffindor boy raised one of his eyebrows, and looked over at another boy. "It looks like Snape's gonna wet himself with glee he's so happy."

Hermione smiled as Holly and Ron took their seats beside her. "Oh, I forgot to ask at lunch: How was Divination?"

Ron scowled. "I got a Dreadful on my paper."

Holly laughed. "Trelawny saw his half-blank paper, and made the amazing prediction that he'd fail."

Hermione was about to laugh too, but Snape had started the class and she didn't want thirty points taken away from her house.

Once he had everyone's attention, Snape wrote his name on the board and underlined it three times. "Welcome to Defense Against the Dark Arts." He growled. He'd practiced saying that over and over in front of the mirror that morning to make sure he got it exactly right. "Now, can someone give me an example of illegal use of a Red Cap's fingernail?"

Hermione's hand shot up almost by instinct, and instinctively Snape's instinctive was to instinctively ignore Granger's instinctive reaction… instinctively.

"No one?" Snape asked. "What about you, Malfoy?"

Draco looked up at him, and then looked at the blackboard for clues as to what the answer was.

'An Illegal Use Of A Red Cap's Fingernail: Burning them in a blue fire at noon in September. This will cause a chicken-like figure to emerge from the flame and murder the first human it sees' the board read.

"Burning it in a blue flame at noon in September, professor," Draco answered, sitting up straight.

"Excellent. 5 points to Slytherin." Snape said.

Ron, Hermione, and Holly all rolled their eyes. It wasn't the first time they'd wished Snape's class would hurry up and finish.

* * *

"So," Ron said, his mouth full of that evening's dinner. "How many points did Slytherin get in Potions?" he asked, annoyed. 

Hermione flipped her hair out of the way of her food. "Fifty-three."

"That's got to be a new record." Holly added, also in an annoyed tone. She was about to bite into a forkful of spare ribs, when she noticed Pansy Parkinson glaring at her from the Slytherin table.

Hermione turned around to see what Holly was looking at. "Why is Parkinson looking at you like that?"

Ron snorted, and made his voice go higher, imitating Pansy. "That girl looks _just _like that Scarhead boy." He trilled.

Hermione and Holly laughed, Holly spitting out her food from laughter.

Pansy scowled in their direction. "Look, Draco. She hangs out with _them._"

Draco honestly didn't care right now. He was really hungry, and he had ten minutes to scarf down as much food as possible before he and a few other boys had to meet with Professor Sprout about why a group of first-years' Mandrakes were hideously maimed. "Pansy, I need to eat."

She nudged him in the shoulder. "But seriously! Look at her! She looked my way and spat out her food!"

A girl sitting across from Pansy looked at her. "I bet she's bulimic." She quipped.

"She's jealous, is what I think." Pansy said angrily.

"Of who?" the girl asked.

"Me, of course." Pansy said. "She's so unpopular she has to hang out with Potter's group of friends."

"It's a shame, really," one of Draco's friends chimed in. "I mean, she's certainly easy on the eyes, eh, Malfoy?"

"Shut up, dimwit." Malfoy said.

Pansy wasn't paying attention. She was glaring at Holly again.

"Oh, give it up, Parkinson." The boy said, helping himself to another spare rib.

The girl glanced at Malfoy from under her eyelashes. "I heard your cheerleading team gave you the boot?"

"I gotta go." Was all Draco said, getting up to leave.

* * *

"I heard all the cheerleaders gave Malfoy the boot?" Hermione asked. 

"Yeah, but we still have to go to cheerleading practice." Holly replied disappointedly.

"Who's gonna be the new captain?" Ron asked. "The school won't actually let you be captain, will they?"

Holly shrugged. Then, "But I'd better get going. Practice is in five minutes."

Ron and Hermione waved goodbye as Holly walked out the Great Hall doors.

* * *

"What the heck is this?" 

"Who's he?"

"Where's Holly"

"What's with the tires?"

Several other comments ending in question marks… which would be considered questions, I guess… could be heard as everyone stared at a buff man of about 40 years stood in front of them.

"Stand in single line!" he shouted.

Holly was running towards the group. She'd forgotten where she put her uniform, and it took way too long to find it and put it on.

The man was not very pleased. "You part of this team?" he asked, looking down at her from his intimidating height of 6 feet and 2 inches.

"Yes," she squeaked. "I'm the captain?"

He narrowed his eyes, and put his hand on his hips. "And what makes you think that?"

"Everyone thought she should be." Ginny said. Everybody nodded, except for Holly who was looking slightly uneasy with the man looming over her.

He gave a hearty laugh. "The position's been filled, kiddo. And I intend to whip every one of you into shape."

Holly gulped, walking to the back of the line. This man was like Malfoy, only 5 inches taller and a lot more painful to look at.

He paced down the line of girls. "Say hello to Coach Grinder. That's me. I'm similar to my name, you'll see."

Everyone stood perfectly still, not wanting to think of what this wrestler-esque looking person was capable of doing.

He gripped the whistle around his neck. "You do what I want, when I want. I want you all to show me what this Malfrey boy had taught you."

"Um, we haven't really been doing our routine, you see." A girl said nervously.

He slapped his leg. "So you're untrained to, eh? You're more pathetic than I thought. Looks like you'll all have to take my little test." He took out his wand and flicked it at an open area. A display of what looked like military tires, ropes, ladders, and other things appeared.

Coach Grinder explained what to do at each station, and blew his whistle. "Go!"

Cheerleaders plus Boot Camp equals … need I explain?

By the time practice was over, everyone was covered in dirt and sweat. Now, Holly wasn't as dramatic as some of the other girls about the situation, but no one like being forced to crawl under barbed wire while wearing a skirt, do they?

Holly was dragging herself inside, helping Ginny as she limped inside, when she spotted Malfoy looking out the windows by the doors.

"What the hell did you make them all do, Palmer?" Malfoy asked, raising an eyebrow at their dirty uniforms.

Holly scowled. "Not me, it was Coach Grinder."

"He's _horrible._" Ginny moaned, leaning on Holly. "Although no one could be as horrible as you, Malfoy."

"I never remember any of my girls walking away from practice covered in dirt," Malfoy replied. "So, how horrible is he?" he asked, looking straight at Holly. He grinned.

Holly glared at him. "You just like seeing us suffer."

Draco shrugged. "I wasn't the one who kicked me off the team, was I? Who says I shouldn't be enjoying this?"

"Shut up." Ginny and Holly snapped.

"Don't want me back?" Draco asked, although he didn't say it quite like someone would say a question. He turned his back to them and continued to stare out the window. "Suit yourself."

Holly waited to see if he had anything else to say, then helped Ginny the rest of the way to the common room.

A/N: Heheh… still listening to La La. Anyway, so uh I don't really know what to say right now, except that when I found time to write this chapter (like, 1:00 am) it was pretty fun. I own Coach Grinder. Wait…! Not like that, but you know. In the way that I invented him. I don't own Harry Potter.

_In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2… will Coach Grinder and Professor Snape be ble to keep their new jobs?_


	11. The True Truth About Nancy

Disclaimer: I don't own CosmoGirl, but I own Cosmo Witch… I think. Sorry if you had the same idea as me.

Chapter Eleven: The True Truth About Nancy

After spending almost an hour in the bathroom that night, washing off the dirt, Harry realized two things: One, there was a knut caked onto his knee with mud, and Two, it's a lot easier to pee when you're a girl.

The next day Miss Castlie dragged him from breakfast.

"But I'm still hungry!" he'd complained to Nancy.

"You just _think _you're hungry, Holly," Nancy assured her. "Besides, you don't want to go over-eating, do you? Now come on, let's collect Draco."

After they pulled Malfoy away from his breakfast too, she led them to the Room of Requirement, which had turned itself into a photo studio.

Nancy murmured a spell, and the photo equipment started assembling itself. "Now," she started. "You two are very lucky to have been chosen. After today, you're pictures will be published in CosmoWitch for everyone to admire!"

"But that's a girl's magazine, isn't it?" Malfoy asked, frowning.

Nancy smiled. "And?"

"And… nothing." He replied, grinning at her.

Holly rolled her eyes. _Typical narcissistic ferret…_

Nancy now had a bigger smile on her face. "Just wait until you see your outfits!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Ron and Hermione were still enjoying their breakfasts, or in Nancy's opinion, "over-eating". 

"I wonder what Holly's gonna have to wear," Ron asked. "A pink tutu?"

Hermione laughed. "I hope not. Although Lavender and Parvati did say she had particularly nice legs."

Ron just stared at her. "So what do you girls talk about again?"

Hermione just shook her head. "Long story. Nevermind." She took a bite of food. "So do you seriously think Castlie would make Holly wear something as ridiculous as a tutu?"

"Hopefully n-" Ron started.

Hermione and Ron then exchanged horrified glances, remembering what exactly Holly would be wearing. "Nude photography!" they both whispered fearfully.

"Oh no, what are we gonna do?!" Ron asked, dropping his fork.

"We have to find them!" Hermione exclaimed. "Come on!"

* * *

Holly wasn't modeling at the moment, but watching in boredom as Nancy took pictures of Malfoy. 

Draco was feeling his pride slip away. Nancy had given him a pretty modest outfit, but somehow along the way Castlie had convinced him to take his shirt off.

Nancy noticed Holly's boredom. "Don't worry, Holly, you're next."

_Hooray for me. _Harry thought sarcastically. "Can I at least try on the outfits while I wait?"

Nancy shook her head. "We'll get to that later."

* * *

"Okay, if I was a bulimic blonde female nude photographer concerned with nothing but looks, where would I be?" Hermione asked herself. 

"In the bathroom?" Ron suggested.

"You're not helping," Hermione said.

"Well, you said bulimic!"

"Then just a female nude photographer."

"In a photo studio?"

"Yes, but where?"

"I dunno."

Hermione sighed.

* * *

"Okay, Holly, you're turn!" Nancy said excitedly. "Now just stand right there, and try to pose as if you're powerful and exotic –" 

Malfoy stifled a laugh.

"- and away we go!" she said.

Holly did her best, but still felt extremely stupid.

"That's it, Holly!" Nancy encouraged, snapping away.

Malfoy sat back in his chair. _Looks like Palmer's good at something after all._

Just as Holly was getting the hang of it, Nancy stopped clicking the camera. "Do you mind?" she asked, undoing a few of the buttons on her shirt.

Holly blushed. "Ye-"

"Don't be shy, the camera loves you!" Nancy said.

* * *

Hermione was trying to figure out where a photo studio would be in Hogwarts. 

Ron was trying to figure out what he'd have for lunch.

"Oh, why couldn't of Castlie just set up her stuff in somewhere _easy_ to find??" Hermione said, clearly frustrated.

"But she didn't bring any stuff," Ron said.

"But then… where would she find it?" Hermione thought out loud. Suddenly, her mouth dropped open and she jumped up and down. "Ron, you're a genius!"

"I am?" Ron asked.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, kissing him on the nose. She started running. "Hurry!"

* * *

"I said, I _do _mind if you unzip my pants slightly!" Holly practically shouted.Nancy and Holly had been arguing for a good four minutes about Holly's pants, and Malfoy was getting bored. 

"Fine," Nancy said sharply. "Draco, come over here. It's time for the group photo."

Malfoy sat up and stood beside Holly.

Before Nancy could start giving instructions, Hermione and Ron burst through the door.

"Holly! Don't do it!" Hermione yelled, running inside.

Ron followed her in, covering his eyes. "I'm not looking, lalalalalala…"

"Yes? What do you want???" Nancy asked.

Ron went over to her, eyes still covered, but faced the opposite direction she was in. "You should be _ashamed _of yourself!!!" he shouted, pointing at the wall in attempt to point at Nancy.

"Ron, you can uncover your eyes," said Hermione.

Ron slid his hands from his face, realizing that everyone was still fully clothed. "Oh."

"What are you doing in here?!" Holly asked.

"She's a nude photographer!" Ron shouted.

"WHAT???" Draco and Holly exclaimed in disbelief.

"You didn't tell us you wanted pictures of us naked!" Holly yelled at Nancy, disgusted.

"Wait until my father hears about this, Castlie!" Draco spat.

Nancy simply laughed. "I'm not a nude photographer!"

"Oh yes you are!" Hermione shot at her. She whipped out Nancy's business card. "It says so right here!"

Nancy took the card and read it, and laughed harder. "This is nothing but a typo!"

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

Nancy wiped a tear from her eye. "When I ordered these the man must of misheard me. I specifically said _News_ photographer.

Everyone stopped shouting and making disgusted sounds.

"… News?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Yes," Nancy replied. "What, you thought I really meant nude?"

Hermione laughed nervously and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

Then, everyone burst out laughing.

"I can't believe I actually believed them," Draco laughed.

Nancy clutched her stomach, trying to stop laughing.

Ron's face was beet red. "Sorry."

Hermioen nodded. "Sorry."

"That's alright," Nancy said. "I take pictures of people in their underwear!"

Everyone stopped laughing.

"Um, please tell me this is another joke?" Holly asked.

Nancy frowned. "I'm serious."

Draco made for the door. "Good-bye."

A/N: Well, that's it for Nancy. Looks like she'll have to ask someone else to model for her…

Nancy: "The two students I thought would be great models have let me down. Now all of the students know about me, and none of them want to model. But you… you've got a great look going for you. Well, maybe that's not entirely true, but no one else wanted to model for me. You're my last hope. Would you be okay modeling in your underwear?"

Snape: "Sure!"

A/N: Well, that solved that problem. Unfortunately, it creates a new one. Ha ha, don't worry that's not part of the actually story. See you next chapter!

In the next chapter of Let's Go Hogwarts 2… what will Draco do now that he's not a model or a captain?


	12. Welcome Back Malfoy!

Chapter Twelve: Welcome Back Malfoy!

They shut the door on Nancy before she could protest.

"Thanks, guys," Holly said gratefully.

Hermione and Ron smiled. "You're welcome."

"Though, we _were_ wrong," said Hermione.

"At first," Ron corrected her.

In the distance, a clock chimed nine times.

Hermione straightened her blouse. "Well, we'd better get to bed before Filch comes around."

Holly nodded, and glanced at Draco. He was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. "Um, I'll be right there."

Hermione glanced at Draco too, then gave Holly a suspicious look. "Alright, but don't be too long." She replied, and Ron and her went away to the common room.

Holly walked to where Draco was on the floor. "You okay?"

Draco lifted his head and looked at her. "Why do you care?"

Holly shrugged. "Well you're just sitting there like some sad little-"

"Yeah, thanks," he said sharply, and continued sulking.

"Come on, you're not really disappointed that we can't model anymore, are you?" Holly said.

Draco shook his head. "No, it's just that now I have nothing going for me, that's all." He said.

He said it with such distain that Holly couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not. "But you're the seeker of the Slytherin Quidditch team? And what about your good grades?"

He rolled his eyes. "Those things all come naturally. I'm talking about things that I actually have to work at. Like… being the captain cheerleader…"

Holly frowned. _Whether he works at it or not, he still stinks. _She thought. But she also thought about something else. "…You really loved that job, didn't you?"

Draco nodded.

Holly pondered some more. Why shouldn't she help him? Yes, he had made her life hell… but that was Harry's life. Now he was Holly. Draco seemed to actually like Holly.

She shook her head. _No. Fricking. Way. _

As she debating the thought of helping him, Draco stood up to leave. "I got to go to bed. It's almost ten."

"Wait!" Holly exclaimed.

Draco turned around. "Yes?"

Holly paused, then looked at the floor.

"Thanks for the help, Palmer," He said sarcastically, not waiting for her reply.

Holly sat on the floor, deep in thought as she listened to his footsteps fade away.

"So," Hermione said at breakfast the next morning. "What did you and the ferret talk about last night?"

Holly shrugged. "Nothing. He left."

As you can see, our heroes were well over the whole Nude-Photography-thing-that-was actually-not-really-nude-but-close-enough-and-if-you're-still-reading-this-hyphenated-sentence-then-I-wish-to-congradulate-you-on-your-patience-but-anyways-on-with-the-story thing.

"Ew, she wanted to take pictures of you in your underwear!" Ron laughed.

Well, Ron wasn't over it.

"Holly?" Ginny addressed her. "Coach Grinder says we have a practice today."

Holly looked up at her confusedly. "But practice isn't until next week."

"That's what I thought too, but he thinks we need so much practice that he's making us have one every day." Ginny sighed. Then she laughed. "He still thinks Malfoy's name is 'Malfrey'"

Holly smiled politely. "When's practice?"

Ginny squinted at her watch. "Let's see, it's 8:15 now, so practice would be… in… around…"

Holly waited.

"… Thirty seconds." Ginny finally said. "See you at practice!" she chirped, and sped outside.

"What?!" Holly exclaimed.

"Actually, now it'd be about 25 seconds," Ron added.

Cue the Nutcracker music!

:::846,103.5 musical notes later:::

Holly was wheezing and puffing, speed-staggering to get outside and put on her sneakers at the same time.

"PALMER!" Coach Grinder shouted, making a few of the girls in the squad jump.

"Coming!" she cried.

"You're 846,103.5 musical no – er, I mean, 20 minutes late!" he yelled louder, even though she was right in front of him now.

"You can't expect to call for a practice at 8:15 in the morning at the last minute!" Holly protested.

"Literally!" Ginny's voice sounded from somewhere in the back of the group.

Coach Grinder stared at her.

Someone coughed, and a baby started whining from somewhere.

"That was odd…" Holly said to herself.

But the others were on a roll. "You also can't make us run in the mud!" Another girl chimed in.

"Or climb ropes!" someone added.

"Or crawl under barbed wire!"

"Or be really, like, mean about it too!"

"Like, yeah!"

"_Or_," Malfoy said, projecting his voice. "Take me away from my passion, and put _my _girls in unnecessary situations."

"What are you doing here?" Holly asked.

"Adding to the dramatic effect," Draco said simply. He walked up to Coach Grinder. "You'll have to resign, Grinder, because I want my old spot back."

Surprisingly, the coach didn't put up a fight. "All right." He said, smiling. "You look like you really do care about this bunch of girls, so… go ahead." And with that, he shook Draco's hand and headed towards the castle.

_That went better than I expected. _Malfoy thought smugly to himself.

"But that's really a shame, you know, because I was planning on taking the whole team to Hawaii for doing so well. As well as you, because you handled losing your position so well." Coach Grinder said to Draco, and shrugged. "But that's fine."

Everyone stared after him as he walked to the doors of the castle.

"And good luck to ya, Malfrey!" he called to Draco before disappearing behind the doors.

"We were _going_ to _go_ to _Hawaii?!_" Pansy exclaimed in disbelief.

"I can't believe it!" Ginny said.

But Draco was standing very still with his fists clenched. " – It's - Mal-_foy_-- " he said through his teeth.

A/N: Is it too late to say Merry Christmas? I guess it is, seeing how it's now January. Don't forget to review! Bonus marks go to anyone who can say 846,103.5 in words! Heheh…


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